Hello and welcome to My Heavenly Boobs…if you are hoping to find soft porn here, I’m afraid you’re on the wrong site and now could be a good time to adios!
In my usual full on, yummy mummy style, I was playing WWE with my 12 year old son. All that was missing was sparkly knickers and bra, akin to Wonder Woman, and I would have looked like the real deal but instead it was bed time so I was frolicking around in my pyjamas being thrown around and getting beaten by the emerging strength of Ben who was delighted to tell me he was nearly 13.
During my losing match, Ben accidentally kicked me in my left boob. I whinced trying to conceal the immediate pain focusing now on the ‘tucking in’ element of our nighttime routine but of course he was wide awake desperate to release his pent up energy. I sent in his dad and went to investigate in the bathroom.
A lump appeared and a pain like no other. Note to self, I thought, see how it goes, which I did. A week later, no improvement so I went to see my GP.
My GP was lovely, caring and convinced it was nothing to worry about. “Honestly, it will be fine, I’m sure of it. It has come on following a trauma and so it’s highly unlikely to be anything serious.” I sat there unconvinced, given I have a number of relatives who have had breast cancer. She obviously picked up on my lack of enthusiasm and suggested that she would refer me to see a consultant but given it would likely disappear in a week, to cancel the appointment.
Reassured, I tootled off to hospital two weeks later, toute seule. The clinic I attended was a one stop shop, I hadn’t anticipated being there very long at all, but it took up several hours.
First stop a registrar who thought it was probably fat necrosis, great, more fat I thought to myself. Next, mammogram and ultrasound. This is where things became interesting. The consultant did the ultrasound and said everything looked normal so I got up and dressed and had my foot out of the door when she said she’d like to discuss the mammogram. I was wondering what on earth there was to discuss given the ultrasound was fine, so I sat down and there is was.
The consultant confirmed that the lump in my left breast that I’d been concerned about was indeed fat necrosis but the other breast, and at that point I was shown the mammogram, were hundreds of calcifications. I joked, I simply didn’t think for one moment there would be a problem. I told her I was peri-menopausal and it as probably that (as calcifications can be part of the aging process). I was sent for core biopsy.
I phoned my husband who arrived double quick despite everything else happening in slow motion. The biopsy was pretty awful, I can’t lie. Three samples were taken the first were excruciating the second and third more bearable. Apparently, because the calcifications were behind the nipple and hence the biopsy was carried out close to what is a very sensitive part of the breast, it can be painful. I wish I’d been told that to begin with, I would have prepared myself for the brutality. I can’t fault the care of the staff, they were so gentle, it was the biopsy machine that was possessed.
The following week was interminable, I didn’t tell my dad and brother who I rely on so much for support and my birthday was coming up which the kids were planning for. Honestly, I shed a lot of tears this week and found it difficult to focus.
I prayed like my life depended on it and of course it did.